If you've ever wondered how they planned to get Mount Doom to generate sufficient heat to destroy the one ring, it would be fuelled by pyres of burning copies of this game, turfed out by disgruntled buyers.

If we were to vote on who was to be chosen as the person we most wanted to load into a catapult and fire into the hordes of Urak Hai standing before Helm's Deep, it would be a toss up between the marketing manager who signed the deal for Surreal to design this game, the designers themselves, or the beta testers (if in fact there were any involved in this project).

The premise of the game is that you play the role of Frodo, who has to take the one ring to Rivendell. Along the way you also have the opportunity to play Gandalf and Aragorn. This seems to be the extent of any connection to the book's original plot. Tolkien fans will cringe as the story unfolds in a manner which suggests the game developers skimmed through a condensed, picture book version of the story and never saw the movie.

After a discourse from Gandalf, Frodo sets off on a mindless quest to sell Bag End to his Aunt. Along his tortuous travels he helps the miller fix the mill, repairs a weather vane and picks up mushrooms (health restore item - although even at this early stage you will be tempted to smoke 'em)....all this while leaving the ring safely at Bag End. Maybe we missed this in the extended version of the movie? These quests offer no reward, don't increase your character's level, are linear and frankly, are so much troll pooh.

You move your character by using the arrow keys and a jump button while the mouse sets your direction. As you move about the 3D environment, you will appreciate some special effects, including a nifty system whereby your character often disappears behind terrain features, spiced up with a bit of clipping.

Now, if you were to be awarded the franchise of the LOTR Book, one of the first things you would do is to take some of the wonderful, literary images from the book and transform them into a wonderfully deep and crafted game world . Not a chance - the developers decided to create their own style and atmosphere that, frankly, reminds you of Noddy in Playland. Instead of the light, peaceful imagery of the Shire in the LOTR movie interpretation, we are treated to something that - while very pretty in places - is also somehow quite dark and sinister. The play area initially appears quite expansive but you quickly learn that those open fields are surrounded by an invisible force field and that there is little you can interact with.

The character rendition is adequate with the hobbits looking like hobbits, however their movement can be quite corny at times. This is particularly evident with Frodo's cape which has been cut way short (The mini is back!) and flaps about quite ridiculously. A word on sheep - if you are going to do a LOTR game featuring sheep, and try to sell it to New Zealanders, make them look like sheep, not llamas (if you think this is nit-picking don't get us started on the stocking ratios).

Combat consists of hitting things, throwing things or kicking things. For variety, if you manage to get to play Gandalf you also get to zap things. As you continue your journey you pick up better weapons, although we consider not being able to fall on your own sword a major oversight in the game.

There is a map function that, when activated, pulls up a map. A map of what exactly, it is hard to say as there is no legends or detail - just some mountain ranges, rivers and woods. You have not the slightest idea where you are on the map or in which direction your intended destination lies. Clicking anywhere on the map closes it, which at first we found annoying but soon realised was a bonus feature.

You are also provided with a very crude inventory system that is very poor graphically and fiddly to use. It is basically a set of icons that you need to scroll through to select the item you want.

All of these faults could be forgiven if the game play was something special, but it's not, so they aren't! It is really a very linear quest game, with a bit of combat and some platform aspects thrown in. It swings from insultingly easy to downright impossible (such as attempting to avoid the black riders in the shire. You do this by throwing stones and sneaking about in the dark. As you have no idea where you are going, and are largely restricted to travelling along the road, you invariably get caught and killed). You are directed to go to places, the location of which you have no idea, and often end up somewhere entirely different.